A Day Off

Today I took a day off from visiting Grandpa. I did feel a lot of guilt, but at the same time I needed to take some time with the girls and to heal myself.

I woke up definitely sick, and it was rough for me to make it through the day today.

My younger two girls take dance, and today was ballet and tap for the 9 year old. This generally means that I rush from work to dance with her in tow, and then spend 1.5 hours hanging out and entertaining the 6 year old. Today, instead of running around, we came back home and I took a nap. I was too tired to do much of anything else.

After dance we went to dinner and played a game of checkers. It was nice to sit and relax a little with the girls and teach them a new game. They were both welcomed learning strategies for playing checkers. It was a lot of fun to watch them work out the strategies in their heads.

When we came home I ran them a bath and let them play in the tub for awhile. They really enjoyed it and it was a nice quiet evening, they even went to bed without any issues tonight.

All of the girls have been amazing, not just tonight, but for the last several weeks. My oldest has stepped up and helped me out with her younger siblings. She is willing to drive them around and do whatever I need her to do. The youngest two have been super patient while I spend all of my free time with Grandpa.

I do believe this is a testament to my parenting skills, my girls understand that this is important and that there are times when another person's needs come before all else. While this might seem like an easy task for most, I had to learn how to be a good parent on my own. Having my parents leave when I was at such a young age really left a hole in my life. I have struggled for nearly 40 years to fill this void.

Having these girls turn into such amazing people as a direct result of what I have shown them, fills me with pride an accomplishment. These girls love me unconditionally, and this was not something I ever had growing up. The love is returned to them just as unconditionally, and they know that.

To that end, I have really tried to make it a point to spend one night a week with them and really let them be as clingy as they need to be.

Tonight I got a call from my aunt, who was up visiting Grandpa, and she wanted to know if I was coming up. Unfortunately he did not remember that I was not. I did feel a lot of guilt with that call, but at the same time, I know what I was doing was important too.

Tomorrow will be another day and we will see how much we can get done.