The Aftermath

I knew that the rest of my family would be unhappy with the choices that my Grandpa had made. I do know all the decisions he made at this time, and I have to say that I am unhappy with them as well.

He has made me the executor of his estate, this part I am ok with since he knew I would do what he wanted and fairly. Unfortunately this also leaves me with some large responsibilities.

Let us start with the duties and definition of an executor:

"It's both an honor and a burden to serve as someone's executor. An executor is entrusted with responsibility for winding up someone's earthly affairs -- a big or little task, depending on the situation. Essentially, an executor is charged with protecting a deceased person's property until all debts and taxes have been paid, and seeing that what's left is transferred to the people who are entitled to it."

Taken from this website: http://www.nolo.com/legal-encyclopedia/article-30236.html

Today I was emailing the funeral home back and forth, making the final arrangements for the body of my Grandfather. The director I was emailing with asked me if any one else would like to view the body before the cremation took place. I knew that I did not wish to and I was fairly certain that his sister and brother had spent enough time with him last night, but my sister and my uncle did not have a chance to see him after he died. I debated calling them but then decided it was the right and fair thing to do.

I had slept in this morning and my oldest daughter had taken the day off of school, she was taking this death rather hard. We decided to get some lunch, and decided a little retail therapy might be in order. We headed to the mall.

While we were having lunch I decided to make a call to my Grandpa's house, my sister and uncle lived in the house before he got sick and passed, so they are still there. There was no answer and the machine did not pick up, this was odd but I figured I would call back later.

A few moments later my phone rang and it was the house calling me. My uncle was on the other end of the phone, he asked me if I had a copy of the will. I do. He then asked me if I was the executor of the will. I am. He then asked if there was documentation proving this to be true. There is. He then said words that I try hard never to say. I then informed him that I had called to see if he would like to view the body before it was cremated. He said he would like to. I told him I would call the home and set up the viewing.

I then made a call to the funeral home and set up a viewing as well as picking up paperwork that I need to fill out. I called back to the house and left a message, I needed to know if this worked for them. An hour passed and I did not get a call back, so I called back to see if they received the message and if this was ok. My uncle curtly said yes and hung up on me.

My daughter and I were on our way to Target when my step mom called to let me know that my uncle and sister were beyond mad at me and threatening me. Basically a warning not to show up at the house alone.

This upsets me greatly on many levels, I am a non violent and non confrontational person by nature. The fact that someone is so mad at me that they are threatening physical harm makes me shake. Mad, scared, or just plain upset, it is hard to discern the emotions.

I called my husband to let him know and he suggested that I not be at the viewing today and he then called the lawyer. The lawyer advised us to drop off the certified copies of the will and to leave, not to have it read publicly, but to just let them read it for themselves.

We have made arrangements to do so.

I went to the funeral home to pick up the paperwork. We then went by the house to pick up my Grandma's ashes, the funeral home will mix them for me, and Grandpa's computer. I would like to email his friends and let them know of his passing and get any important information off of the computer for me to complete my duties as executor.

My sister has expressed an interest in having the computer, I will gladly put a price on all the items and let her take that amount out of her share of the inheritance, just as I will do with every other item in that house.

Later I learned that my uncle either was going to or had called the police to let them know that I had taken the computer. Unfortunately my children were with me when I got this call. They went to bed worried that I would go to jail, and missing their Great-Grandpa.

It is truly sad that my children and myself have not been given the proper amount of time to mourn the loss of a loved one. That instead the focus has been put on fighting with those that are left and fearing for my safety.

I am afraid of what will happen in the next few weeks. I fear for the safety of myself, and the security of my children.

It is truly heartbreaking to know that the people that I called family would treat me as they have. It was less than 24 hours after the man who raised us and took care of us, took his last breath, when this began.

I do thank everyone that has been supportive, and would like everyone else to know that I am stronger than you think I am.